Is Therapy a Good First Date Topic?
Normalizing Vulnerability and Mental Health
@90s.daily Photographer: Mark Seliger, 1995Therapy is finally getting the recognition it deserves. From discussions with friends to #therpaytok, the stigma around seeing a therapist is shifting.
Generations before us viewed therapy as taboo. Only “certain” people went to therapy for “certain” reasons. It was never a dinner party hot topic, but with the new self-aware generation, going to therapy is becoming a more common and open form of self-care.
There are many reasons one goes to therapy, more than I’m qualified to speak on, but I’ve noticed therapy popping up in more parts of my life than none. I may just be more aware of the word now that I am seeing a therapist myself.
I can’t deny its consistency, as well as the way hearing about therapy has given me more confidence in talking about therapy myself.
People say it’s become a “personality” trait to go to therapy, but is going to therapy ever a bad thing?
This new topic of conversation is seeping from my friend groups into my dates. I don’t talk about therapy by making a blank statement that I have a therapist, but more in a way that flows with the conversation. A subject may spark something I had previously spoken about with my therapist.
Without hesitation, I say “my therapist said that” or “I legit just talked about this with my therapist.” It’s not in a sly way to slide it into the conversation, but it’s a natural addition to the conversation. I don’t dwell on therapy. It’s just a simple statement.
In my experience, the overall reaction to the word therapy on dates seems to be positive. Sometimes it opens a lane for the other person to talk about their own experience with therapy.
With the subject coming up more and more on my dates, it makes me wonder if one should discuss therapy on a first date? Is it a healthy date topic?
Ultimately, it’s up to the people on the date, but I don’t think it’s a topic to shy away from, especially if it comes up organically. There’s something refreshing about opening the conversation about mental health.
The older generations have inadvertently told us not to discuss our mental health. We almost must reteach ourselves that therapy is back on the table. Talking about our mental health on a date humanizes us. We divulge into vulnerability, making us less alien-like.
Of course, everyone has different reasons for going to therapy, and these may be reasons they don’t want to discuss on a first date or even a second, or third…
Talking about therapy is at the dater’s discretion. However, I resent the fact that going to therapy is a personality trait and talking about it on the date is supposed to up your cool factor. So, what if it’s cool to go the therapy? Isn’t that the point?
Therapy is just a part of our lives, just like dating is. If it comes up naturally, I don’t think it’s a topic that we should avoid if we feel comfortable talking about the subject.
Sure, maybe I don’t fully disclose my past traumas. That’s what therapy is for, anyway. But I’m liking my newfound confidence in talking about it, even with my dates.
My therapist will be very proud of me for saying so…
Going on a date? Check out our dating tips! Focusing on yourself, here are some self-love tricks to try!
