Is Delulu the Solulu for Dating?
📷: @raynatobinHow TikTok’s Newest Trend is Changing How We Manage Dating Expectations
By Stevie Bowen
September 12th, 2023
Are we delusional to think the world will run out of TikTok trends? If we practice our delulu right, we might see a world where TikTok trends don’t exist. Seems unlikely, but also unrealistic. Like TikTok’s viral trend, Delulu. The belief that we can be delusional, aka delulu, enough to make our dreams a reality.
But when did the term delulu start?
Despite its recent TikTok rise over Summer 2023, delulu originated in the K-Pop fan community back in 2014. It’s used to describe being a fan of a celebrity or group to the point of delusion. The complete belief that someday one might be lucky enough the date them. Where lust overtakes love, but love wins in the end. Well, in the delulu state of mind.
Delulu found its way into the TikTok algorithm in November 2022. Though if you are an avid TikTok scroller, you’ve seen an uptick in #delulu videos near the end of Summer 2023. As it landed in different TikTok communities, different interpretations of the word diluted its meaning. Now trickling into the slang of Gen Z, and dare I say, Millennials.
What does delulu mean?
Delulu is the solulu. For those who don’t speak Gen Z, being delusional solves many of your problems. Delulu is the magic word that opens the door to your career goals, relationships, and personal advancements. It’s believing until it’s true. It’s faking it to you make it, like the oldies used to say. (Still do.) Delulu is another twist on manifestation. There’s a straight correlation to Lucky Girl Syndrome, another TikTok manifestation trend at the beginning of the year.
The delulu state of mind puts an emphasis on believing everything will work out for you. Like Lucky Girl Syndrome. However, the inner workings of TikTok have made delulu a little confufu and toxic. A quick search of delulu on the app and Dating Tok has taken it on a viral spin. Singles are claiming delulu that their crush likes them, despite the crush saying they don’t. Situationships are making brief texts a proclamation of love.
Sadly, delulu might not be the solulu to making your crush like you back or persuade your situationship to make it a relationship. What it’s doing instead is messing with our dating expectations.
So, is the delulu the solulu to dating and relationships?
Dating in delusion throws out the idea of managing relationship expectations. To a certain degree, delulu can encourage positive thinking. Similar to believing in career success, delulu helps us believe we are worthy of a successful relationship. The TikTok trend isn’t only knowing you will be in a relationship. Delulu is putting unrealistic expectations on a partner, crush, or situationship. Leaving all the delulus disappointed.
It's important to state that singles can have standards. We should expect certain qualities or actions from a potential partner. It’s knowing how we want to be treated. Managing our dating expectations keeps our hearts and minds in check. We do this by staying aware of our needs. Yet, delulu overshadows awareness by over-romanticizing dating and relationships. The dating world has long struggled with believing words that are said. Something so simple, but hard to do. For example, when someone says they don’t want a relationship or aren’t interested in us, we see it as a challenge. The TikTok trend delulu has us believing we can change their mind.
TikTok creator Carter Kench and Daniel Ocampo show delulu as a way of twisting words said by a situationship or crush. Like many delulu videos, the context is humorous. However, we can joke about being in love with someone who doesn’t love us back, like the K-Pop stars. Until the inevitable becomes true. We won’t date the popstar, or our crush won’t like us back… like they told us. What’s worse, is people are becoming delulu IRL. Situationships are over-romanticized with the delulu thought that the other person has intentions to date us. Delulu will make it true if we just believe. But it won’t.
Delulu lacks action. It can be the oil in the car, but not the driver. We can’t change someone’s dating intentions by believing they will. The person must take action themselves. Do we wait around until our situationship changes their mind about us? …even after they said they weren’t looking for anything serious. The answer is no. Dating in delulu erases the work we’ve already done on ourselves. Over-romanticizing words or actions from a crush or partner will lead us to disappointment. We improve our dating experience by taking what people say and do at face value.
Be delulu in believing you’re worthy of a healthy relationship or career, but not delulu enough to waste your manifestations on the person wrong for you. If they’re right, you won’t need to be delulu to know.
