7 Q’s to Ask Yourself When Text Chemistry Gets Lost on the Date
Texting is no stranger to compatibility. It’s a crucial indicator of immediate chemistry. Though, it’s not reliable enough to cut and run when our nerves are shot. Whether we meet via a dating app, or on a late night out, how we communicate over the phone is the first obstacle we face. The only information we hold about the other is image-based or a vague recollection of what they looked like at 2 am. We must dig a little deeper into their personality before entering the date stage.
Authentic texting is difficult to maintain but crucial for a proper texting flirt. The fear of sounding weird, or the need for outside sources can sometimes get in the way. Yet, relying heavily on both may be a sign they aren’t the one. Or we simply aren’t ready to date with ourselves in mind.
When we conquer our fears and decide to be ourselves first in dating, the texting stage of a match or meet-cute becomes our ally. Developing a rapport with someone over text before a date induces confidence and excitement for reality. We learn more about the other’s personality with every hook and sink line. Spikes of serotonin for impending date nerves.
However, as much as texting is our ally, it can be the bane of dates’ existence. Technology fails us, reminding us how important in-person interaction is. Screens are buffers for the nervous. An aide in the game of wit. Allowing the recipient to formulate that perfect reply with their over time. Like internet trolls, a dater’s personality can become skewed. An abundance of text flirtatious can slip through cracks to land where matches die. But, per Rachel Green, it’s not common, and it doesn’t happen to every guy, it is a noble line we should remember when texting compatibility doesn’t find a seat at the date’s table.
The harsh reality is texts tell white lies. Mostly, unintentionally. Two personalities collided on screen but lost momentum in reality. It’s disappointing when you’re fifteen minutes into the date and the tingly feeling you felt looking at their written words is lost in the words they speak. So, how do we find traction again? By staying optimistic. You’ve made it to the date, and that is commendable. Texting doesn’t always secure a date, but yours did, and that’s cool.
Were they who you were expecting? Not really. But is there a chance for new compatibility to grow? Maybe. That’s what the date is for. Unless you’ve been catfished, don’t ask for the bill just yet. Stay and learn. Not only about your date but also the new dating tricks that come complimentary to each date we go on. Free tips with a side of mini dilemmas.
If you find yourself thrown off by the failed texting translation, try asking yourself these questions on the date… or in the bathroom.
Am I enjoying the conversations?
Are they engaging and listening to what I am saying?
Are they asking me questions?
Am I laughing… not nervously, but genuinely?
Is my body unconsciously leaning toward theirs?
Do we share similar humor?
Do I feel comfortable or have the desire to flirt?
When you ask yourself these questions, don’t focus too much on the answers, but more on how the answers make you feel. The point is to get your juices flowing and build a dating narrative that is right for you. Despite the person sitting across from you. Based on how you feel, you can decide whether to stay for another drink or duck out early. The key is giving the date and the person a chance. They may think the same thing you are. How technology is man’s greatest frenemy.
You may not have all the answers during the date, so revisiting these questions in the taxi home can help decide if a second date is worth it. For extra aid, hash it out with a friend or remember the night in your journal. Whatever your next move is, be proud of yourself for seeing the date through.
