Why the Holidays are to Blame for Your Dry Spell
📷: Just Friends, 2005The holiday season is upon us. More like laying right on top of us like a warm body, we wish it was. No matter your religion or holiday celebrations, this time of year is a shit show filled with draining bank accounts, unnerving group discussions, and colorful calendars, all wrapped up in a chocolate bow. We are rushing around finding the most thoughtful presents, or dishes that will win the hearts of our loved ones. As we plan the days to shop, we also plan the days to travel, to see friends, to spend time with the family, to stay on top of our self-love regime, to… date?
Holidays are infamous for making us feel lonelier compared to any other time of the year. We crave a companion to hold us through the freezing wind gusts as we check off our holiday to-do lists. No matter if we want a relationship or not, there’s something nice about having someone to take the edge off our busy schedules. A thought that is so stereotypical of the season. Cuffing season or buffing season, whatever you want to call it, is peaking. While some are just looking for something without the “uff.” A simple holiday date or fling to keep our libidos from freezing.
However, we want to justify our dating desires. There’s one kicker that is keeping us from playing the game. Everyone is busy too, and no one has time to date. Our potential date or match, they’re bracing those same gusty winds to find the perfect gift for their friend while telling their mum when they are coming home for the holidays. It’s a hard pill to swallow. The spoiled eggnog in our whiskey cup.
We can’t seem to secure a solid chat with a match. Dating app swipes only seem to bring us deeper into the blizzard. And the options? Even colder than the last months. No matter our motives, the lack of promising matches is disappointing. Plus, the hopeful holiday meet-cute we search for at the holiday market can’t seem to catch our eyes. When we thought our dry spell couldn’t get any drier, the cold is making us crack.
So, what can we do to relieve our holiday dating gloom?
Slather on more moisturizer and know that it’s not us. It’s the holidays. As much as the dater on the other end of the algorithm wants to chat, there may be a sale on the gift their sister has been asking for on the other tab. The Harry to our Sally is making eyes with the pre-made charcuterie board maker to secure a holiday appetizer that will make their Mum proud. Our attention is being pulled in too many directions to stay focused on the eyes of a potential lover we don’t know yet.
Texts fade. Plans get pushed to the new year. Matches never make it off the app. Chances are, we aren’t the reason for any of this. The holidays have us all by the sleigh bells, with minimal time to share the holiday cheer beyond our immediate circle. It’s okay to let dating take a back seat to the holidays if that means making more peace for us. Instead of focusing on the dates we don’t have, we should look at the dates we have with ourselves, our friends, and our family. We can continue swiping or looking for dreamy eyes in the bar crowds but remove the pressure that every glance and swipe must be a success story.
In the absence of our wind gust buddy, there’s extra time for us to mask our faces with hydrating serums to fill the cracks. Look up from our phones and see the twinkly lights growing around us. It’s an opportunity to work on ourselves, so we don’t just end up with a so-called “buffer.” The one we use only as a body shield against the wind doesn’t make our holiday brighter.
The year is closing, and it may not end with the bang we were hoping for. But don’t blame the dry spell on yourself or the dates that physically can’t fit into the calendar. Blame it on Jack Frost. The freezing winds only last a few seconds, but the memories you will make staying present with the people already in your life will last forever.
