Why We’re Prioritizing Mental Health Not Relationships This Cuffing Season
Navigating Seasonal Dating Pressures and Validating Your Dating Goals
Dating in the fall is a one-way ticket to cuffing season. We can ignore it, dislike it, and even denounce its legitimacy. But cuffing season comes around like American football with annoying consistency and an unlimited marketing budget. Cuffing season is unavoidable. It’s in our social media feeds and on dating app advertisements during our commutes. It resurfaces in our minds as we watch couples hold hands in the crisping air.
With its impractical reasoning, what is cuffing season?
Cuffing season is a socially manufactured timeframe where singles return to pursuing relationships after a summer of play. Cooling temperatures mark when daters supposedly realize they need a partner to ward off frostbite during winter. Cuffing season and fresh fall relationships stereotypically last from October to late March. People form seasonal relationships to provide cuddling service until the service is no longer needed. Cuffing season relationships, aka situationships, end around March when temperatures rise again, releasing new singles back into the dating pool.
Cuffing season puts unrealistic expectations on singles to find a relationship quickly to prevent seasonal loneliness. Yet, the seasons’ superficial prevention efforts only increase it. Cuffing season creates social pressure to start new relationships, whether that is our dating goal or not. Even if we are confident in our dating progression in previous months, cuffing season makes singles feel inadequate. Especially if we have trouble finding the type of relationship we desire.
So, does cuffing season affect our mental health?
Dating requires a constant effort to maintain good mental health. Cuffing season challenges our efforts and can increase our dating anxiety, even after the work we’ve done to create an enjoyable dating life. The season can make us question our goals or the right to want different dating outcomes. Rather, we are looking to date casually or find a long-term relationship, the pressures of cuffing season makes dating harder to navigate. When we’re intentionally single, this season can make us feel our decision to be alone is wrong. For the latter, if we’re looking for a committed relationship, our slow burn tactic can feel insufficient.
Colder months bring us inside and naturally make us crave companionship for our nights in. But this temporary loneliness isn’t a reason to jump into an unhealthy relationship. Contrary to what cuffing season tells us, changing seasons does not mean changing relationship status. Sometimes it takes a year to figure out what we currently want in our dating life. We can’t change course every six months. How will we develop healthy dating practices if we must adjust our goals every season?
To combat the inevitable effects of cuffing season, our priority is maintaining our mental health this season. Personal well-being is at the forefront of an enjoyable dating life. Especially during the times we feel pressed to date a certain way. We can successfully date mindfully when we feel internally supported by ourselves. These mindful dating practices can help us navigate cuffing season when we don’t want to fall under seasonal pressures.
How do we maintain our mental health and dating goals during cuffing season?
Be honest with yourself.
What do you want right now in your dating life? Write or create a space to think about your current needs and goals. Remove as much outside judgment as possible and listen to your intuition. Do you want to focus on yourself and casually date? Maybe you want to take a break from dating altogether and learn to be alone. Are you looking for a long-term relationship, but practicing a slow burn? All choices are valid and yours to make. Give yourself the opportunity to be your biggest supporter.
Make goals outside of relationships/dating for the winter.
We aren’t just how and who we date. Our life is full of other fulfilling factors that bring us joy and healthy challenges. Think about what you want to achieve in the winter. Progress in your career, personal growth, healthier habits, or new hobbies? What other areas of your life do you want to focus on for the next few months?
Prioritize alone time.
Turn cuffing season on its head and intentionally spend time alone. Our relationship with ourselves is the most important. With fewer outdoor activities filling up our calendars, it’s a great time for reflection and self-love. We feel less guilty for choosing ourselves on a cold Friday night when everyone is doing the same. Reconnect with the things you love and that make you feel whole. Learn how to self-soothe and entertain. This will strengthen your self-assurance for your next date!
Prioritize platonic relationships.
We don’t need romantic love to ward off the cold. It’s nothing our close friends and cute jackets can’t fix. Making plans to see friends will lift our frozen positive frequencies. Unlike what cuffing season wants us to believe, we’re not alone. We fill our lives with different relationships that bring us joy. Don’t get caught up in trying to find warmth in another person and forget about the friends who always keep the heater on.
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