How Long Should I Wait For My Date To Pick A Time And Place For A First Date?
Spotting Red Flags Before a First Date and Respecting Your Time.
We’ve already determined that all genders can plan first dates. The golden rule is that whoever suggests the date should arrange it. Of course, life doesn’t always follow this formula. First dates can be a dual effort with both suggesting dates and times. But to make the plan concrete, one must take the reins and make the reservation or final decision.
Before adding a first date to our calendar, three factors must be determined. Day, time, and place. Simple, but not always easy. A first date must work with both parties’ busy schedules. It takes each person to prioritize a first date in their week. Life is full of moving parts and respecting the other’s time is crucial for building a solid dating foundation. Yet as dating lines get blurrier, people are falling short of deciding the big three at a respectful rate.
Our time is precious and choosing to spend a night with someone new is a day-altering decision. We intentionally agree to a date on Thursday, knowing that we will complete other obligations later. We’re prioritizing our dating life—as we should. However, it seems confirming a place and time has become obtuse. Daters are leaving the last two elements of a date to the last minute claiming they will “let you know” closer to the date. Some are waiting until the day of…
Not making a concrete date plan is a red flag.
Waiting until the day of the date to decide where and what time we are meeting ends here. It is not enough to respect the other’s time; we must respect our own. The time and place of a first date should be determined the day before, at the latest. This allows both parties to plan their days accordingly. We deserve more than waiting for a confirmation text on the day of the date. It can lead to lower self-esteem and distrust in the dating process. We can avoid date confusion by putting our needs first.
Asking for details about a first date is not desperate. It is powerful.
If it’s the day before and you still haven’t heard from your date, check in to confirm. By doing this, you are taking back control of the narrative. You are honoring your time. It shows strength and confidence, not neediness. Before even meeting them in person, you are setting boundaries with your date, and how to respect your time. Remember, you are taking time out of your day to meet them. You can take that time back.
If they still haven’t picked a time and place for the date the day of…
Time to set boundaries. If texting them the day before didn’t work, you have the right to either postpone or cancel the date because of their lack of prioritizing. Though this is a red flag before a first date, they may have some life reasoning for being so wishy-washy. Maybe. But don’t let it go without setting a boundary first. Instead of agreeing to a date confirmed only a few hours before, suggest another day and time. If they are worthy, they will understand and set a concrete date for the next available day. If not, listen to the red flag.
The main point is knowing your worth and standing up for the respect we are allowed as daters. A date who can not follow through with plans they suggested is a tell-all to a future relationship you may have together. It is important to understand that you are in control of your dating narrative. Don’t spend the day wondering if you will or won’t go on a date. Set the boundary and ask for your own peace of mind. You are worth it. And the date outfit you have on is too cute to be wasted.
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