How to Meet Someone Organically Now That Dating Apps Don’t Work
The Downfall of Dating Apps and Learning How to Say “Hello” Again…
The concrete jungle is heating from the growing friction of city-dwellers shuffling feet, desperate for a glimpse of the Summer ahead. Where are they headed? Single New Yorkers are making hard lefts into bars and becoming rooftop sardines. We are finessing outdoor hangs with anyone with a sliver of outdoor space and surveying the outdoor seating area of every passing restaurant. All with a common motivator. Meeting someone organically.
With our shortening attention spans glued to the summer scene, it seems we are all staging an unconscious dating app boycott. Simultaneously, making dating apps the worst place to land a date. The dating confessionals I accumulate each week point to a consensus that dating apps don’t work anymore. Daters are complaining without knowing we, summer singles, are the collective problem.
A problem that we may not want to solve. It’s been long-standing that daters are looking for more authentic ways to find connections. As dating app prices rise, with Bumble Premium reaching $50 per month, daters are wondering what’s the point. Super swipes are useless when daters are losing the will to swipe.
Dating apps are a leading cause of date exhaustion and the killer of human energy exchange. They pose a threat to the wellness hype every short-form video is imprinting onto our brains. In our search for inner happiness and lost human connection, we’re rejecting the technology we thought would help us find it. Despite dating apps’ many side effects, the one thing that threatens their very existence is us.
Instead of sitting around befuddled by the shallow dating app pool, daters should embrace the change our bodies are craving. It’s time we admit we’re seeking fresh air for our libidos and make the intent to meet someone in real life. Sounds easy, but the damage of hiding behind our screens has left us socially unable. We don’t know how to start conversations anymore.
Dating apps have stolen our gumption. Subtle glances, and a generic text one-liner, won’t confirm a reservation for two in the real world. We fear rejection on a simple introduction because dating apps created loopholes for us to hide in when our pride got bruised. We became comfortable unmatching, swiping left, or hiding conversations when someone wasn’t interested. As a result, daters are spurting nonsensical comments to people they find attractive in person after they’ve already walked by. The man who blurted, “Goodbye, then,” to me as I left the bar last weekend is a prime example that society has forgotten the word that comes before goodbye. The harsh reality is daters lost the power of the word, hello.
If we are to make a claim against dating apps, we better find the action to back them up. Or we risk revisiting the apps in the Fall with our tanned tails between our legs. But all hope isn’t lost. Daters need to accept that success doesn’t come without risks. And great connections don’t come without rejections. To revert to an IRL-dominant dating world, we must learn to be bold.
Change is already afoot with street rizzing happening right here In New York City. Coming from experience and recent observations, daters are reconnecting on the crosswalks. Their opening line? Smiling and saying hello. Instead of longingly making eye contact down the avenue, New Yorkers have been seen breaking their brooding shell trying to crack another’s. The success rate is unknown, as the sightings are new. But they hold hope that daters in New York, and beyond, are challenging the Millennial status quo.
Is it wishful to think these bold trials of connection will find their way back into our social scene?
It’s up to us. An element we forget is our efforts most likely won’t go unappreciated. As we say hello to the cutie at the bar, they may be in a relationship, or more disappointingly uninterested. Yet the fact we found them interesting enough to shoot our shot is the highest of compliments. They go home knowing they still got it, and we leave without the dread of the unknown. The chances of someone reacting negatively to your gentle introduction are slim. But unfortunately, there is a prevalent risk.
To make the risk less intimidating, daters must work together to lead with kindness. The inquirer and the receiver. Our unconscious dating app boycott will only work if we show compassion for ourselves and fellow daters. It is vulnerable to put us out there, however, vulnerability holds the greatest reward. It is something to take pride in. A strength that motivates us to take the risk. And risks are required to meet someone in real life.
We can simply claim we want to connect with someone in person, but are we doing enough to make it happen? The first step is admitting, which many daters do in their proclamation against the apps. But to create change, we must not only be open to the possibility of it happening but acknowledge that rejection is imminent. It comes with daters engaging with strangers and taking risks. So, will this be the summer when we take back our dating lives from apps, or will it, once again, get lost in the race against dating artificial intelligence?
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