5 Tips to Help Get Back on Dating Apps

Book & Dating Advice Column by Stevie Bowen | Based in New York City, a book about love and relationships | Dating Community & Dating Tips for Women | Dating in New York City & Millennial Relationships | How to Find Self-Love
@subwayhands

Jumping back into the dating game is never easy. Whether you dated someone for a month, six months, or a year, switching your mentality from taken to single takes dedication. When you’re dating someone, casually or seriously, typically, the desire to continue looking for other prospects on dating apps falls away.

And you don’t have to be in a relationship to feel that way. Once you see someone more frequently, your dating focus naturally shifts to that one person.

It may not be official yet, but swiping through dating apps loses its nonexistent charm. We slip into the world of almost taken, drifting further away from the treacherous shores of dating apps. 

We float away on our little love boat, unaware of what lies ahead. Then, unfortunately, like dates before them, we find ourselves tossed out of the boat and heading back to shore.

After a couple of months of dates and happy new discoveries, the reality of a new relationship just doesn’t add up like all the little details before. Somewhere in the relationship jigsaw puzzle, a piece doesn’t fit.

So here we are again, a couple of weeks away from dating apps with the new, daunting task of jumping back in. We must leave behind what could have been and look for the next boat.

Getting back on dating apps after any type of relationship is an arduous task. To help smooth the transition, we’ve pulled together a few tips to get you back on the horse, no matter how long you’ve been away.

Start by talking to your friends.

Putting it out in the universe that you're available again is the first step to opening yourself back up to the dating world. Meet up with your friends for a couple of drinks and let them know you are thinking about getting back on the dating apps. You’ll find support even from your most taken of friends. *If you’re a friend in this situation, encourage your newly single friend to open up a dating app with you. You can discover new suitors together!*

Plan a self-love night in and browse the app.

With no judgment and after a few self-love rituals, take a stab at looking through some dating apps alone at home. A couple of swipes either way will get you back into the right mindset. Just seeing who’s out there and available will get the juices flowing. Maybe even start a conversation with someone? Nothing serious, just a chat.

Write in your journal.

Journaling is one of the best ways to work through our emotions. Even if the relationship was short, there was still a sense of loss. Writing these feelings without judgment from others can help us process them better. Find the lessons we learned from the relationship, and manifest what we want in the next one.

Try not to jump the gun!

There is no time frame you must abide by when putting yourself back out there. As Lindsay Lohan would say, the limit does not exist. There is no limit to how long you should wait to get back on dating apps. Ignore the societal pressures and expectations of dating. Even if you only dated this person for a month, it is okay to take double the time to date again.

Start saying affirmations.

Our self-confidence can take a beating after ending a relationship, especially if you weren’t the one to end it. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow, but we must remember it is not a reflection of us. It is important during the fresh stages of being single to give ourselves some love. Chat with yourself in the mirror or recite affirmations to remind yourself how great you are. Check out our affirmations on our Instagram Affirmation Highlights to get started.

Go on your first date with low expectations.

Ready to take your next match to the next level? Try to stay open-minded on the first date. It’s easy to compare this new person to your last partner, but it’s important to stay neutral. Going into the first date with low expectations allows for happy surprises that you may not have seen if you went into the date already wishing it was with someone else. Not every date has to be life-changing. Sometimes it’s nice to just meet someone new. You never knew where it may lead!

Heading out on your next date? Check out our Dating Tips! Need more time to reflect? Here are some self-love tricks to try.

 
Previous
Previous

Books for Women Written by Women

Next
Next

How to Talk to Yourself in the Mirror