How Do You like Your Dating Eggs?

In the early stages of dating, it’s hard to decipher what the other person is thinking. Round one, you’re meeting for the first time, round two, you’re getting to know each other a little better, round three, you’re catching feelings.

Until around round three, you’re typically still browsing the apps and the streets. You’re only just meeting suitor one for drinks for a second time. Does it deter you from also grabbing drinks with match and suitor number two for round one the same week? Maybe suitor three is warming up their fingers to send the “let’s grab drinks” message moving the Hinge conversation to texts.

Your eggs are in multiple baskets at present as they should be. But the question remains. When do you put the eggs into one basket? Date three, date four, date five? 

I’m still not sure myself. By date two or three, we all enter a state of limbo in dating. It’s a daring place because one false move and you’ll be stuck in limbo for months. Staying for extensive periods in limbo causes one to go mildly insane. You know the old word. Crazy. Well, not knowing where you stand with a person, you’re swapping multiple bodily fluids with, can make anyone go crazy. 

We can’t avoid limbo. We can control it.

I’ve discovered a healthy dating limbo (note: for myself) to last to the fifth date. Averaging around a month. A healthy limbo period can be different for everyone. It’s also determined by what the dater (that’s you) wants out of a particular suitor. Even if it’s only FWB, it should be defined around the same limbo period end date of becoming exclusive.

It’s crucial to discover your own limbo period based on how your past relationships or situationships have left you feeling. I was in limbo for seven months. Word to the wise, don’t do that. You’ll lose your mind and self, in due course. And you’re too cool to lose.

A tip I used to discover my own healthy limbo end date with someone is when I stop having the desire to search for anyone else. I stop using the apps cold turkey. The moment to have the dreaded “talk” is the moment I shift my dating focus to one person. If they don’t have their focus only on me, then my eggs must remain in multiple baskets. 

In a healthy limbo, it’s hard to decide what you want to do with all your eggs until the talk occurs. Some people prefer to date with one basket, while others prefer to date with multiple. Do you like your eggs sunny side up or scrambled? There are pros and cons to both egg orders.

It’s difficult to know until you’re mentally in a good place. It is where you can confidently make your own decisions about a relationship. *Subject to change based on your wants and needs*

Placing your eggs in one basket can be daring, but noble. Maybe you’re horrible at deciphering the different conversations you have with various people. Is Sally Billy’s sister or Trevor’s or Alison’s? You date better by focusing your attention on one person at a time. You like to do that and that’s just how you function. The trick with this approach is not getting too attached early on. If you’ve got that down and know when to take your eggs back before getting lost in limbo, then one basket is the way for you.

Now, maybe you place your eggs in multiple baskets. You like your eggs scrambled and a little saucier. Either you’re good at deciphering multiple suitor’s details or a good cover-up when you ask about Sally to Trevor when obviously she’s Billy’s sister… One suitor stands out among the rest, but you’re not comfortable giving them all your eggs until you two settle the situation between you. You’re not being cruel; you’re just living your life by your rules.

We’re not always consistent in the way we handle our eggs. We change with the seasons and change from the lessons we’ve learned.

Everyone orders their eggs differently. It’s the nature of life. Your diner order can’t be like the table next to you. It’s just no one wants to be stuck in limbo, not sure what to order.

So, have a think. There’s not really a wrong answer if you don’t stay in limbo for too long.

How do you like your eggs?