How Mindful Dating Helps Balance Our Social Lives
6 Tips to Stay Present on Dates and Enjoy Socializing Again
Dating is a natural and consistent layer of our social lives. Whether you’re in a serious relationship or casual dating, the act of dating is ever-present. Its form may change by the situation, but there’s always a conscious effort to allot time to spend with a partner or new suitor. Simply put, dating is prioritizing building connections with others.
To ensure we act mindfully, one must create the room, mentally and physically, in their social life. A present approach to dating in the early stages can help ensure a healthy foundation for social life balance if/when the dating relationship grows more serious. The social life balance is the time and mental focus given to friends, family, romantic partners, and yourself. Some argue balance at any level of our lives is an unrealistic goal. However, instead of viewing your social life goal as balanced, strive to remain present with each social interaction you have.
Achieving mindfulness in your social life is practicing mindfulness in your dating. This presence starts with you. Once you can stay present with the time you plan as “me” time, the tools can be adjusted to your other social obligations. Thus, helping you find a healthy inclusion of dating into your existing social life. These tools can help you adjust to adding dating back into your life, be incorporated into your current dating life, or bring a spark back to a slow period in your established relationship.
Presence and mindfulness are the roots of the tips for striking the so-called balance we all hope for. The daunting and sometimes anxiety-inducing aspects of adding another drink date or dinner to your Google Calendar are valid. Yet, the tips and tools that ensue will help merge dating into your social life as if it’s been there all along. Dating, in simple terms, is creating a human connection.
Dating is a part of our lives—the following tips help us find the enjoyment in dating that has always existed.
Take a moment to understand your personal balance between socialization and alone time.
Everyone’s social cup is different. The amount of socialization one can take a week is dependent on the individual. This means our counterbalance of alone time can differ. As you look at how many nights or days, you need to reboot your social cup, try not to get swirled in the fomo demands of your external world. You’re entitled to as much alone time as you need. Know this time alone is the moment to be present with yourself to work on your relationship with you. This will allow you to feel confident and ready to socialize with others when the time comes.
Look at your typical week of social obligations (friends, family, coworkers) to see how much time you can realistically give to dating.
This can change weekly, but having a general guideline for how much you can put on your plate will make you feel more comfortable saying yes to dates. Remember to push yourself out of your comfort zone. If a date one week keeps you from your normal social programming, you can adjust the time you give to dating the following week. Allow fluidity in your social life or you’ll get stuck on the logistics.
Set your intentions before each social interaction, including dates.
Make a mental note that you are going to stay present with the person with you at that moment. It’s easy for your mind to drift when you’re thinking about something else while you’re with another person. Mindfully and kindly making a mental note to yourself to focus on the connection in front of you will help bring you back to the present moment. Don’t rush. Each moment makes up our social lives, there is time to enjoy each one.
Create a positive narrative in your mind about the date.
Dreading a date before it begins only manifests negative notions about the date. If you struggle to think of anything positive, start with the simple gratitude of being able to meet someone new. Dating is an opportunity to learn new things about us, others, and the world. It is also a great way to see your city. The more positive outlooks you think of, the more that will follow. Despite anything else, it’s an excuse to get out of the house.
Don’t change a date plan because you fear fomo of another social obligation.
It is okay to choose to explore other alleys of your social life without your friends. You are in control of to whom and where you give your energy. Your friends will be there at the end of the date and another event will come up. By focusing on staying present, you’ll know you’re right where you need to be at that moment.
Every layer of your social life can merge.
It’s okay for your dating life to flow into your social life with your friends and family. If a situation arises where worlds collide, let them. Having your friends meet your date does not have to be serious. If it feels natural, don’t overthink it or force it into a different path. Your social life is a major part of your life. Let your date see that. Let your friends see your dating life. It’s all you after all.
Achieving mindfulness in your social life will help foster a healthier relationship between yourself and dating. Seeing it as a separate entity only furthers you from the benefits of dating. Our dating life and social life are one. Balance, if one can successfully find it, comes with presence. With presence comes clarity in the enjoyment that is in each moment of our lives. Starting with dating.
