It’s no secret daters have been inundated with dating apps over the past few years. Since the turn of society in 2020, the art of dating online became increasingly popular. Yet, as the world is healing, our desire to live only on the apps is dying. IRL connections came back to challenge the Hinge monster competing for the dater’s love. What meet-cutes don’t understand is dating apps are immortal. They are a crucial coded artery in our technology-driven world. 

We can’t live with them, and we can’t live without them. The secret to living in harmony? Finding the perfect balance for IRL meet-cutes and dating app matches. But to feel comfortable in both dating lanes, we must understand how each dating option can help us feel confident. With the weather dropping lower, it only makes sense to focus on the apps. We are bundling inside for the winter, twiddling our thumbs on the screen. I’m here to help you twiddle your thumbs on to the right dating app for you by sharing my thoughts and conversations I’ve had with my close fellow daters about dating apps and online dating styles. Remember, take what you want and leave what you don’t. 

Hinge vs. Bumble

How do we discuss dating apps without the meccas? Hinge is the app made to be deleted, except it’s lived on my phone for the past five years. It seems to be in a constant war with Bumble as they take turns holding the unlucky number #1 spot of No Match App. Maybe because they are free (if you don’t use their premium features), there’s less focus on algorithm performance. As one gets progressively worse, the other gets better. And it seems the dating world follows the shift. Daters jump to and from these apps like kids at a candy store. What’s the best candy you may ask? Hinge is currently taking the role as Bumble feels more like Tinder. Though more serious daters can be found on Bumble depending on what algorithm you’re stuck in. Hinge feels more fluid. There are options for casual dating, serious relationships, and the see where it goes types. It feels more versatile now than Bumble. But don’t delete Bumble just yet. This war is unpredictable, and Hinge may fall again as quick as it rose. The story of Hinge vs. Bumble is the perfect example of staying open to switching up your dating app favorites.  As we dive into more dating apps below, the key is allowing yourself to discover dating apps fluidly. One size can fit all with dating apps.

Raya

For those privy to the inner world of Raya, welcome to the never-ending rollercoaster of disappointment and lack of initiative. For those yet to be accepted, you’re better off. Raya is a reality TV show you pay monthly for to watch the perfectly curated lives of elite daters who won’t let you in. I have been on the app for almost a year and have actively chatted and dated ONE person. Raya is a dating app filled with dying matches and unread messages. If you become a member, pay for the entertainment, and stay because you have no other choice, with the fear you won’t get back in if you deactivate your account. 

Feeld

*Please note this dating app observation is through conversations with friends rather than personal experience (subject to change). *

Feeld is a sex-positive dating app for all. It’s a place to explore yourself and your desires freely, surrounded by people with similar interests. A dating app to discover your dating preferences. Though the users can be a mixed bag, I’ve been told there is an increasing level of open conversations about people’s wants and needs. There is more honesty at the beginning of what daters are looking for. Can’t we all use more honesty in dating, especially in the beginning? If you’re looking to explore your sexuality and spice up your dating life, try downloading Feeld. I might just be right behind you!

Fourplay

Founded by two women with a mission to make dating safer, Fourplay promotes the idea of double dating. If you are new to the dating world or jumping back in, Fourplay is a great way to get your feet wet. You can partner up with a friend to sift through other friends to match with. The atmosphere in the app is positive and open. It can be a great way to not only meet potential dates but also friends. Fourplay is a dating app that can be used in more ways than one. A way to put yourself out there with a friend at your side!

We are in an open relationship with dating apps. We don’t need to choose one and stick with it. It’s okay to use two or three at the same time. Try to keep it to a minimum to avoid quick dating app burnout. Erase the pressure to be on any specific dating app or any at all. Our relationships with dating apps are fluid. It ebbs and flows with our own dating mood. It’s important to listen to our mind and body. The dating app that works now may not work next month. There are no strict rules to abide by. Stay open-minded and let your finger swipe where it may.

To look beyond my personal dating app radar, check out Thursday, Lox Club (My experience to be determined…), and HER (LGBTQ+ Focused). Single and need some advice, discover more on our Dating Tips and Single & Proud columns.