The Dating World Under a Microscope and What Stops Us from Making Honest Connections

In recent years, dating has been under a microscope. Everyone is looking to get a piece of the industry pie. But, the pie has crumbled from the inundation of dating apps to the never-ending stream of TikTok dating opinions. The world has dissected dating to the edge of dehumanization. Dating feels alien-like as we all overthink each step, and every stage, and forget its purpose. To create honest connections—relationships that feel like home. 

It's not to say that dating hasn’t become more difficult for the internet generation. We’re all scrambling to figure out how to connect long-term in a world that prefers short attention spans and quick likes. The thing is, we’re becoming more self-aware of the problematic situation, but not so much ourselves. Gen Z is grasping for real-life connections, trying to reintroduce humanness to dating. The world is panicking, worried we’ve lost our grip on what matters. 

So, to rectify the situation, we’re searching for meaning in every detail. Naturally, we want a quick fix. But all the external noise, toxic dating tips, and relationship opinions, some given in good faith, have created a hotbed for overthinking and anxious comparison, like never before. We’re so mixed up in the ingredients that our pie has lost its allure. We need to get back to basics. And that’s exactly what Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum teaches us.

Once my TikTok feed started filling up with the show’s cast videos and I was leaving the app happy for once, I knew it was time to watch. It didn’t take me long into the first episode to realize we’ve been trying to fix the dating world from the wrong angle. Love on the Spectrum shows dating in its beautiful simplicity. The Netflix series follows a cast of people with autism with diverse backgrounds, ages, and relationship goals. All have different dating intentions, challenges, and dreams that they fiercely make a reality with the support from their community around them. 

Autism expert, Jennifer Cook, takes the cast through various communication lessons and practice dates. She helps them navigate conversations and dating etiquette. Each cast member experiences their unique dating journey with the support of their family, life coaches, assistants, and friends. There is date support in every corner of the show. They celebrate dates and connections despite their long-term success. It is not only about the outcome of each connection but the growth that comes with experiencing a part of life we are all worthy of… dating and romantic relationships. 

As I watched their stories unfold and the honest communication in their relationships, platonic and all, I realized Love on the Spectrum is teaching us the lesson we all need to relearn. How to communicate. Specifically, with honesty and compassion. It’s the missing ingredient in our pie. We’re all talking about dating, but we’re not talking to each other. We have forgotten how, and the beautiful cast of Love on the Spectrum is teaching us the lesson we’re afraid to learn. Simple, yet so difficult to master. Because to communicate, we have to be vulnerable and show our true selves. 

It doesn’t come without mistakes. Which is what stops us all from facing the truth. But Dani Bowman, from Love on the Spectrum Season 1, reminds us of the importance of making mistakes. Her bold ability to understand and advocate for who she is makes us all eat humble pie. How many of us can really say we’ve reached that level of self-awareness and effectively communicate our needs? 

We’re so lost in the dating world’s jumbled attempts to redefine healthy dating and relationships that we can’t see the finish line. We’re running around trying to find a reason to continue our quest for human connection. But why exhaust ourselves when we can pause, step out of the algorithm, and get back to the basics? The simplicity of communication and vulnerability doesn’t mean it is easy. It requires us all to slow down, be with ourselves, and work through our own dating challenges and goals.

We’re all searching for the same thing. Connection. Our support systems may take different forms, but we all can find those in our corner that celebrate our efforts to grow and experience life. We can approach dating with the same care and self-awareness as those on the show. Basically, Love on the Spectrum feels like a pie in the face filled with all our complex dating terms, conspiracies, and fact-like opinions. We need to start the recipe again. Strip it down and start having conversations. It doesn’t mean our previous efforts to make the dating world a better place are wasted. We just can’t forget about the reason we’re putting in effort in the first place. If you’re wondering what that is, turn on Love on the Spectrum and you’ll soon see where our TikTok-induced approach has gone wrong..