Unsubscribing from Valentine’s Day Dark Side and Celebrating Love on Your Terms

It’s come again. The red and pink seep from store windows. Chocolate hearts taunt us with smooth centers promising to burst with love at every bite. With heart-shaped cartoons dancing in our faces, Valentine’s Day has returned. Somehow as shocking as the year before, despite its annual consistency. Maybe it’s because the world reminds us earlier than the year before that Valentine’s Day is coming. But each additional day is another battle to not buy every chocolate box I cross paths with. 

The manufactured holiday of love is so embedded in our culture that it’s found its way even into the blackest of hearts. Valentine’s Day now goes beyond romantic relationships. On February 14th, friends pass Valentine’s cards across classrooms, sisterhoods celebrate their friendships, fathers send bouquets of flowers to their daughters, singles rejoice at bars, and baristas spend a little extra time on their foam hearts. The world perks up. 

But the day still comes with its dark side. It's easy to subscribe to Valentine’s Day hate, especially when the love we have in our life doesn’t fit the original holiday’s romantic relationship requirement. But unfortunately, as much as we jump on the side of the opposition, the heart-filled corner stores won’t let us forget it’s happening. Some may turn their nose up to the cheesiness, but Valentine’s Day may not be as bad as everyone says. What’s wrong with a day that celebrates the one thing we all need right now? 

Probably the fact that singles get hit the worst. The solo Valentine’s Day activity ideas are nice but don’t seem to numb the sting of doing them alone. No matter how much we normalize not having a partner, Valentine’s Day always brings up the overwhelming feeling that we’ll never have a Valentine. But what even qualifies someone to be a Valentine? It feels like a lucid job title no one has any credentials for.

The truth of the matter is someone can have a Valentine’s but lacks love for the other 364 days of the year. There’s no rule book for what type of love is required for Valentine’s Day. It’s one day. A day with unmeasurable lead-up with fleeting meaning. So, why not make the day mean something to us? Unsubscribe from the negativity and just live… with an extra little dose of love. 

We can pick an activity from the plethora of “Single on Valentine’s Day Ideas” articles. Show our friends love by texting them a reminder that we love them even though we don’t always hug them goodbye. Call our mum to thank her for the love she gives us every day. Buy the damn heart-shaped chocolate box at the corner store. Put on our favorite song and sing at the top of our lungs. And give our barista an extra tip for the love they put into our latte. 

So, what if we boycott the holiday by celebrating love in a way it doesn’t understand?

Valentine’s Day celebrates love as a singular moment of expression. Don’t get me wrong, proclamations of love are important, but we’re one step ahead. We’re subconsciously celebrating its existence every day. With the ones who love us now and the one who will always love us… ourselves. It’s the small moment. The conversation with our neighbors. Opening the door for strangers. Sharing the password with a fellow café goer. Running into our friends at random. Laughing until we can’t breathe. Looking at ourselves in the mirror and telling ourselves we’re proud of who we are.

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, we don’t need the fancy flowers or a teddy bear holding a chocolate assortment, though they’re highly appreciated. The love we’re craving today is in the between. If you’re single, in something complicated, or with a partner who doesn’t want to celebrate like you, don’t let it stop you from finding love today. We only get so many around the sun. Beyond the pink and red windows, is love in the little girl picking out a SpongeBob SquarePants Valentine’s Card for her friend.

It’s okay to care about today. It’s okay to wish it didn’t exist. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, even if you’re secure in your singleness. Do nothing or join in the celebrations. It’s only 24 hours. Tomorrow the chocolate will be on sale. The only thing I ask is that you look for one thing that makes you feel love. That’s how we beat the Valentine’s Day blues. By doing the one thing it’s asking us to do. Love. 

But for now, go buy the damn chocolate heart.

Feeling overwhelmed with all the Valentine’s coverage? Book a Valentine’s Day Support Call with Stevie!