Are Beige Flags Good, Bad, or Irrelevant?
The Problem with TikTok’s New Dating Trend and The True Meaning of Beige Flags
📷: @stevie_jadeeRight when we learned how to identify green and red flags, social media created another to add to our dating poles, a beige flag. Still, wondering why it wasn’t dubbed yellow or amber. Beige follows the trending craze for neutrals, which coincidentally reflects the flag’s meaning. Beige flags are minor quirks of a partner that are neither good nor bad. It’s neutral. These beige behaviors don’t add or take from the relationship or person. Simply put, they are the idiosyncrasies of a person. Their je ne sais quoi or annoying tick.
However, beige flags haven’t always had a light-hearted meaning. The new dating term first arose into the culture around September 2022. According to Urban Dictionary, the holy mecca of Gen Z terms explained by the raw source, beige flags once held a more negative connotation. Not too long ago, beige flags once meant a characteristic of a partner or potential partner that is annoying or boring. Often referring to cliché comments one put on their dating profiles. Beige flags were once closely tied to “ick” culture: a personality or action someone did that turned one off completely.
If this sounds harsh, it is. It’s the unfortunate reality of our social media culture yearning for perfection. Thankfully, TikTok reimagined beige flags to something more enduring, and well, beige. A hazy color that neither ends nor elevates a relationship. Yet, calling someone’s personality trait beige seems disheartening. Our culture is once again dissecting the intricacies of our personalities. Labeling each quirk, flaw, or insecurity, ruthlessly. Our funky characteristics are stuck in limbo—unsure rather we should be proud or insecure of them.
So, what are beige flags?
TikTok users have embraced the trend by sharing their partner’s beige flags. Is it just another toxic relationship trend furthering unnecessary dating anxiety? Maybe. But it also gives us ample amounts of beige flags examples. Refusing to wear sunscreen. Not silencing their phone at night. Not turning their windscreen wipers on till the last minute. Stealing all the sheets in bed.
As with many TikTok trends, beige flags have become blurred. Many use the trend to share something cute about their partner. Constantly engaging in conversation at the dinner table. Calling immediately after a date to chat about how they just met someone great… aka you. These beige flags aren’t neutral. They are loving and positive green flags. Or an opportunity to “brag” about one’s healthy relationship… *cough* the anxiety-inducing side of the hashtag #dating or #relationships.
Beige flags have lost concrete meaning, as many trends do. The changing definition opened a can of wormy confusion. Negative examples of September 2022 beige flags still circulate under the TikTok search for “beige flags.” Slowly replying to texts. Only replying to the last text in a text series. Saying they can hang “in a little bit”, only to arrive two to four hours later. Beige flags that many people view as red. Despite its Switzerland position, beige flags are another dating term up for detrimental interpretation.
But are beige flags necessary in our dating life?
Using the neutralized definition, beige flags aren’t new. People have always had funny quirks. They make up our personality. Social media just needed to brand these characteristics. Searching for beige flags while in the dating stage may hinder us from progressing with someone who is good for us. Red and green flags are more often seen in the early stage of dating. These are signs to help us determine if we should continue pursuing the relationship. Unlike red or green flags, beige flags are found by intimately knowing the person you’re dating. Beige flags are showing vulnerability.
The general notion is that when we build relationships, we reveal all the parts of ourselves. The good, the bad, and the quirky. Our beige flags make up who we are. Learning these funky personality traits or actions should bring partners closer. Even if these beige flags spark slight annoyance, healthy relationships accept each person for their complete selves.
Social media’s obsession with labeling every aspect of a relationship may cause more harm than good. Daters feel they must look for green, red, and now, beige flags. With all that searching, people are distracted from what really matters: living in the moment and connecting on a date. Instead of opening each date like a helpless frog on a lab table, take the person for who they are. Red and green flags will reveal themselves as we feel what clicks and what doesn’t. As for beige flags, their impartial meaning is somewhat irrelevant. A person’s idiosyncrasies are what someone likes about them, quirks, and all. Social media continues to press us to achieve relationship perfection, when, in reality, no one is perfect. But our beige flags can make people perfect for each other. What’s so neutral about that?